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| i think i'm going to start this back up again
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| Small, simple, safe price. Rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets. This is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals, and I am not afraid to die. I'm not afraid to bleed, and fuck, and fight. I WANT THE PAIN OF PAYMENT. What's left, but a section of pigmy size cuts, much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks. Would you be my little cut? Would you be my thousand fucks? And make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid to fill, and spill over, and under my thoughts. My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter. I'm cutting trying to picture your black broken heart. LOVE IS NOT LIKE ANYTHING. ESPECIALLY A FUCKING KNIFE
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| I found fountains of imagery that are passing through me like a knife from a group of friends that prefer to attack from the back. I'm trying to grasp concepts of your dimensions while my universe is laced around your wrist.
Just do as you're instructed and take this razor and cut your palms. I'll do the same until a river of crimson begins to flow, now drip your ruby red over the casket, a funeral for my once loved youth.
Goodbyes are said and roses thrown, and the crowd starts to weep. But the irony of the story is when I fell to my knees and began clawing at the dirt in front of the tombstone of my bashful childhood. With you by my side, you're screaming at the top of your lungs, "let it go" I'm screaming at the top of my lungs "The ceremony was not proper, there was not enough people, and who picked the music? those melodies almost made me physically sick" 
I'd collapse to the grass, with your notes ringing in my head. Let the rain fill my mouth, and in a couple hours I'll be dead, but all the while my lips are whistling our tune. But at least the beauty lies in how you will revive me soon.
I wanna tear apart your room to see if what you say is true. Darling don't you lie to me. I wanna break into your heart to see why you want us apart. I'm scared to death to find out what you think of me.
In the chilly hours and minutes of uncertainty, I long to be in the warm hold of your love and mind. To feel you all around and to take your hand along the sand, I may as well try and catch the wind. When sun down pales the sky, I wanna hide away behind your smile. Everywhere I look, your eyes I'd find. For me to love you now, would be the sweetest thing. Would make me sing. But I may as well try and catch the wind. When rain has hung the leaves with tears, I want you here to count my fears. To help me leave all my blues behind. For standing in your heart, it's where I wanna be, and I'll long to be. But I may as well try and catch the wind.
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| The
bookshelf spins, when I pull the Websters from the third row, second
from the right, and this is where the chemicals grow. This is where
reactions flow, the dictionary chemical cookbook was meant to hook you
into me. Would you please take off your lab coat, kiss me as we roll
through every chemical? Would you please put on your dance shoes?
'Cause I'm sick of dancin' alone. Who is it tonight, Doctor Jekyll or
Mr. Hyde?
Can
someone please just shake the lies out of me? It seems that every word
I say don't mean a thing. I've tried so hard to reel you closer to
freedom. With every cast, I just exhaust all my options. Tonight,
tonight we're gonna make all the headlines. It's so damn hard to push
my pride to the side.
And
all your pictures couldn't keep me warm if I burned them. I'm bleeding
bloody coughs from the fire in my lungs. I left you in my memories. So
if the train comes, lay down on the tracks and forget me and how we
used to kiss. I can't stand the person that you've grown to be.
McMurphy
laughs, spreading his laugh out across the water. Because he knows you
have to laugh at the things that hurt you just to keep yourself in
balance, just to keep the world from running you plumb crazy. He knows
there's a painful side, but he won't let the pain blot out the humor no
more'n he'll let the humor blot out the pain.
This
is the best thing to wear for today, you understand. Because I don't
like women in skirts and the best thing is to wear pantyhose or some
pants under a short skirt, I think. Then you have the pants under the
skirt and then you can pull the stockings up over the pants underneath
the skirt. And you can always take off the skirt and use it as a cape.
So I think this is the best costume for today.
And
I'm trying to believe in things that I don't know. The turning of the
world the color of your soul. That love could kill the pain, truth is
never vain. It turns strangers into lovers and enemies to brothers.
Just say you understand, I never had this planned.
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| Starting over.
You're all that i hoped I'd find in every single way, and everything i would give is everything you couldn't take. Nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away. The hardest part of living is just taking breaths to stay. I know I'm good for something, I just haven't found it yet.
This will be the first time in a week that I'll talk to you and I can't speak. It's been 3 whole days since I've had sleep because I dream of her lips on your cheek. I got the point that I should leave you alone, but we both know that I'm not that strong.
I could only sing you sad songs and you could sing along. You could see the melody that's been calling out your wrongs, and this never will be right with me. Now you're trying to desperately but I'm tongue tied and terrified of what I'll say. I never told you everything. I'm losing hope and fading dreams, and every single memory along the way.
I swear that you don't have to go. I thought we could wait for the fireworks. I thought we could wait for the snow to wash over Georgia and kill the hurt. I thought I could live in your arms and spend every moment I had with you. We could stay up all night with the stars. I confessed all the faith that I had in you. Too late. I'm sure and lonely.
For heaven's sake I know you're sorry but you won't stop crying. This anniversary may never be the same. Inside I hope you know I'm dying with my heart beside me in shattered pieces that may never be replaced. If I died right now you'd never be the same.
I'll be ok. Is that what you want me to say? It's called breakup because it's broken. Tell me that you make it that you're sorry and the lines we said never meant the words we meant. It's broken. Every kiss that you could ever mean. The everything that takes you back. The chocolate, rose, the kisses. That like chasing through your misses.
Putting all the vegetables away that you bought at the grocery store today. And it goes fast, you think of the past. Suddenly everything has changed. Driving home the sky accelerates. And the clouds all form a geometric shape. And it goes fast, you think of the past. Suddenly everything has changed. Putting all the clothes you washed away, As you're folding up the shirts you hesitate. Then it goes fast, you think of the past. Suddenly everything has changed.
So take a look at me now. There's just an empty space. There's nothing left here to remind me,just the memory of your face. But take a look at me now. There's just an empty space. And you coming back to me is against the odds. And that's what I've gotta face. I wish I could just make you turn around, turn around and see me cry. There's so much I need to say to you so many fucking reasons why. You're the only one who really knew me at all.
This place is a prison, and these people aren't your friends. Inhaling thrills through $20 bills and the tumblers are drained and then flooded again. And again. There are guards at the on ramps armed to the teeth. You may case the grounds from the cascades to puget sound, but you are not permitted to leave. I know there's a big world out there like the one I saw on the screen in my living room late last night, it was almost too bright to see. I know that it's not a party if it happens every night, pretending there's glamour and candelabra when you're drinking by candlelight.
comments would be wonderful
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